The Splatter House

NOSFERATU D2 - you have been warned!

2010-04-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

Artist: Nosferatu D2

Album: We're Gonna Walk Around This City With Our Headphones On To Block Out The Noise

Label: Audio Antihero

The danger machine that is Nosferatu D2 actually have an album out. It's stone cold genius, and I can't recommend it enough.

The wit of The Smiths and Half Man Half Biscuit, the observation of The Wedding Present, melancholy of Joy Division, the urgency of The Fall or Mission Of Burma, the sensibilities and musical awareness of Pavement, all combining to make something completely its own.

All I can say is, give it a bloody go. It's £5.99 and it's genius.

10/10.

Live Review - BENJAMIN SHAW

2010-04-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

oops. I found a live review I wrote *MONTHS* ago of Benjamin Shaw, and never published. I'm doing it now. The absolute gent has a 5/5 classic of a record out NOW on Audio Antihero, entitled "I Got the Pox, the Pox is what I Got" - you can buy it for £3.99 HERE. Do.

Review:

I had the good fortune of seeing Benjamin Shaw play in a particularly charmless dive that I to have had the misfortune of playing in twice myself, but it didn’t take long for me to forget all about the ‘sports crowd’ and the indulgent support artists, because my man Ben is a rocking machine.

Without the benefit of the synth, percussion and distortion that swamps his recorded works, Benjamin is given the opportunity to shine as both a songwriter and a vocalist. He can tell a story, and he can lose you in metaphor; he can keep things beautifully intimate, or produce something magnificently abstract; and whether it’s the “let’s pop down to the market – to happen on some cake” or the “there’s a fine line between talented and me” that does it – he’s bound to get a smile out of you. Vocally he’s flawless, he keeps his croaks and mumbles, but soars when the time is right and when he screams…you’re liable to lose your wig. He really means it, man.

Two parts tortured artist and one part teddy bear, Benjamin Shaw will both charm and alarm you. Plucking material mostly from his magnificent ‘I got the pox, the pox is what I got’ record, the set is littered with highlights. The fragile falsetto of the ‘thanks for all the biscuits’ climax, the humorous sadism of the EP’s title track (which got more than a few well timed laughs from his audience) and a shrieking and chill inducing rendition of ‘when I fell over in the city’ all stood out in one very special set. Although fans of his record will doubtlessly enjoy seeing him perform (and vice versa), Benjamin Shaw on record and Benjamin Shaw on stage are two very separate and very special beasts (like a Minotaur and an Ewok). Magnificent.

11/10.

Track Ben down here:

Benjamin Shaw.net

Myspace

Facebook

Buy his EP (+ get a free MP3 and stream some videos)

HELL'S KITTENS - The Horror Sensation!

2009-03-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

Being one of the lucky few to have seen their debut, BAD FRIEND, I'm really pleased to 'announce' (as if Fangoria, Blood Disgusting.com and Arrow in the Head didn't beat me to it!) that the hookers and germs over at Rottwieler Productions have a new horror feature in the shakin' making!

Urinating copiously on the charred ashes of DEATH PROOF (and I take no pleasure in that) comes HELL'S KITTENS!!!!

Judging from the *gruesome* TRAILER this beast of a flick takes the classic rape-revenge narrative and sticks it with guts, grit and grain not seen since Wes Craven went ballistic in 1972 (and judging on that stink-pot remake of a remake, this is a timely reminder of what revenge really is).

Sadly I've not had the pleasure of seeing this particular film just yet, but I'm positive it's going to be something special. These guys are true horror buffs and they make a mockery of every show/movie to complain of 'budget-cuts' by beating any such difficulties (the last film cost them about £1000...) with pure innovation, passion and awesomeness.
These kids could save this Godforsaken genre!

DON'T MISS IT!

Kieronononon's Three Man Party

2009-03-15T16:59:00.001-07:00

Hooray! They're back!

The weirdo trio have returned with their most sodomizingly creative songs yet. 'Three Man Party' running at a short but satisfying fifteen minutes carries just enough of the most butal techno-punk you could ever hope to expose your pets to, leaving you warm fuzzy and trembling, but never threatens to outstay its welcome.

Packed with hilarious stories of useless spies, dodgy dares and vampire vodka parties - Kierononononon keep the content to their thrashed out metal, funky raps and screeching industrial just the right side of 'boomshakalaka'. Yes. It's a winning formula.

Quite frankly, the UK doesn't have a better band that Kieronononon. If this review was as good as their CD, I'd be hired by someone awesome. and really flamin' rich. They would quote me at the start of horror films. I would guest in documentaries. I WOULD BE PROLIFIC AND INFLUENTIAL. But I'm not. Still, Kieronononononon are amazing.

Support insane and independent music. Buy their music. So they can make more.

It's in your hands.

"GO ON DO IT! GO ON DO IT! DO THIS ONE THING! DO THIS ONE THING!"

Here's a link
Here's a video
Here's a song

They live at www.roxxor2.co.uk

They rock.

Evilution Review

2008-11-23T12:51:00.000-08:00

I recently raved about a film called “Basement Jack”, and I’ve since been lucky enough to see its prequel “Evilution”. This gruesome epic follows award-winning actor Eric Peter-Kaiser (performing with the charm and skill of a young Ted Raimi) as military doctor Darren Hall (Dan Cain and Herbest West all in one). Darren was last seen working with some mysterious samples to create a cure for death but following a botched experiment was forced to abandon his zombified Iraqi outpost and flee back to America. Now at home in The Necropolitan, Darren attempts to perfect this cure while dodging military assassins.

Inevitably things go from bad to pleasant (there’s a bodacious love interest), to bad to worse, and then finally: Boom! Welcome to zombie town. We climax with a swarm of infected tenants ripping through everything that stands in their way including comical body builders, street gangs, junkies, improperly dressed young ladies and dotty old women gone bad. Only Darren has the know-how to try and reverse the effects of his experiments on the community and save the day. There’s a twist too!

“Evilution” is every bit as entertaining as its slasher counterpart “Basement Jack”, but it remains its own monster. There’s been a recent surge in this style of doomsday film with re-makes, spins-offs, sequels, adaptations (28 Days/Weeks Later, Day of the Dead, Doomsday, Diary of the Dead, I Am Legend, Resident Evil, Dead Set…) racking up DVD sales, but I’m pleased to say that “Evilution” owes nothing to this trend. Writer Brian O’Toole has named “Dawn of the Dead” as his favourite film, and that influence can (arguably) be seen within “Evilution” in that there’s something decidedly “old-school” and classic about its structure and content. “Evilution” is not a flavour of the week - rather it is a witty and intelligent horror movie with well-placed gore around the edges. This is one for true fans of horror.

I don’t like to press the “Hype Button” with a couple more features like this and Black Gate Entertainment could really prove themselves to be the future of horror. You have been warned.

P.S Nathan Bexton is a horror-icon in the making. You heard it here first!

Awesome Film Review: BASEMENT JACK

2008-11-04T03:13:00.000-08:00

Though easily marked as a '70s/'80s throwback, "Basement Jack" is about as good a slasher film as you could hope to find in any decade. Tipping its hat to John Carpenter's classic while still relishing in its modernity; "Basement Jack" is a hugely entertaining horror film that acknowledges its influences without being a thing like "Scream".

The story follows Jack Riley (the spectacularly creepy Eric Peter-Kaiser) AKA Basement Jack: a silent slasher who takes up residence in the basements of "apple-pie" American families, silently observing their happy lives before putting his favourite blade to use on mother, father, sister, brother, and Spot the dog.
His motivation? In true delusional mass-murderer fashion, he has mummy issues. Driven mad by seventeen years of home-cooked electro therapy courtesy of his endlessly charming mother (Lynn Lowry of "The Crazies" and "Shivers" fame) Jack seeks revenge on any family that represents the love and kindness he was denied.

Jack tours the country, slaughtering families in every town he visits - but no matter how well you slice-and-dice, there's always one that gets away. Enter Karen (Michele Morrow): the sole-survivor of Jack's murder spree. Each hunting the other, Karen wants retribution for the death of her family, while Jack hopes to improve his bowling average by finishing the job.
With the help of a likeable rookie cop (Sam Skoryna) Karen tracks Jack for one final showdown. She must stop him once and for all - or die trying.

True, you may have already seen a number of films with a similar story, but the slasher has always been very formulaic, and "Basement Jack"'s plot certainly has enough demented quirks to help it stand out from the regular Myers/Krueger/Voorhees clone. There is tribute, but there's originality too.

The film plays well at a perfect 90 minute running-time with gross-out gore scenes, scares, laughs and plot revelations all liberally distributed at the right moments.

There's no shortage of highlights, but certainly a newly masked Jack Riley's assault on police headquarters will go down as one of the all time great stalk-and-slash moments, recalling "Halloween 4", "Maniac Cop" and "The Terminator" all at once. It's beautifully choreographed, frantically shot, outrageously gory and sickeningly amusing – not to mention it features the simultaneous deaths of three prominent characters. This is horror back to its old unpredictable self.

While producer/screenwriter Brian Patrick O'Toole has a good a track record for horror ("Dog Soldiers", "Cemetery Gates" and personal favourite; "Sleepstalker") – you have to believe that the cast and crew believed in this picture 110%. For what is truly a shoe-string budget, "Basement Jack" looks great, possessing almost a Hollywood standard of gloss. This is something a first-time director (prolific FX artist Michael Shelton) simply cannot achieve without the benefit of a crew's love and dedication to a project.
Shelton himself is a bit of a revelation, having obviously paid attention during his fifteen year career, his first time behind a camera and he's already showing the spark of a young Sam Raimi ("Evil Dead" trilogy). Keep an eye on this man.

Although there's been a few noble attempts to revive the slasher sub-genre (or indeed the horror genre) recently ("Hatchet", "Wrestlemaniac" and "The Tripper" come to mind), none have brushed the cobwebs off the 1980s formula quite as well as "Basement Jack" and certainly none have been so accessible that they might actually pose a threat to the slew of sequels and avalanche of remakes (which I'm not actually all that fussed about) that are dominating the genre – but "Basement Jack" does. Basement Jack Riley is an icon in the making.

Web-site

Trailer

IMDB

This Month's Awesome Film: Brotherhood of Blood

2008-11-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

This month's awesome film isn't awesome at all...it's more like FLAWESOME.

Despite some hard work and good performances (genre veteran Ken Foree is especially entertaining) the film really struggled to keep me interested. Much of the actual horror happened off-screen or in cutaways and the majority of dialogue sequences were under dramatised, over-long and a little daft.

Certainly it picks up a little towards the end with a nice twist or two, but ultimately its complete lack of style and urgency keep a good premise bogged down by mediocrity.

It may act as a decent demo-reel for its rookie directors but I can only really recommend this to Ken Foree fans or vampire completists.

Superman Revenge Squad - Live Review

2008-10-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

Artist: Superman Revenge Squad

Venue: The Green Dragon, Croydon.

Date: 20/09/08

Who actually goes to see acoustic singer-songwriters? No one. But I would go to see Superman Revenge Squad. And I will. Constantly. Instantly. Endlessly! This unthinkable mix of Johnny Cash and Morrissey makes for a heck of a listening experience. Whether he’s breaking your heart with “The Angriest Dog In The World”, making you chuckle with “Everyone’s Dead” or confusing you with the first four lines of “Ice Ice Baby” (in “This is a Happy Song”) – SRD knows how to get a reaction.

Despite facing the obvious limitations of being a one man acoustic show, SRD is a very personable performer who’s happy to chat and take requests from his audience. Unquestionably his brand of pop/folk/punk/indie/”etc” is rather niche, but those present today seemed very familiar with his songs and most were laughing at his jokes and the cheering quality of his lyrical wordplay. A thoroughly enjoyable performer: and a very good recording artist. Superman Revenge Squad comes highly recommended.

Myspace

www.supermanrevengesquad.com

Facebook

Free single (scroll down to Feburary)

I really really like this album, and it only costs £3.

2008-10-03T14:10:00.000-07:00

www.supermanrevengesquad.com

His album is great. It costs £3 inc. postage and there's no one else like him in the world. Anywhere.

I've already reviewed the CD elsewhere, so I won't do it here (but I will do a live review shortly).

But yes, please do investigate. He's re-written the rules. Literally nothing is sacred. No one is safe. He's really good.

Click here to buy his album.

www.myspace.com/supermanrevengesquad

Awesome film of the month: Wizard of Gore

2008-10-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

This are late. Do you know why? Because no one reads them, so they have no reason to be on time. Additionally the release date of Wizard of Gore was pushed back a month, AND Lionsgate decided not to release Sundown: The Vampire In Retreat in the UK.

Well anyway,

Wizard of Gore was actually pretty good (in an actually *good* way). Very showy, very creepy and hugely entertaining. For such a low budget film it looked really slick (director Jeremy Kasten's editing experience does wonders for the picture), and the performances were top dollar. Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator, The Frighteners, FORTRESS) makes the most of five lines and puts in a very memorable and almost unrecognisable performance, while Kip Pardue (Rules of Attraction) makes a very credible leading man. I could really have done without all the Suicide Girls though...it cheapened the whole thing in a cringy "horror fans like boobs don't they?" sort of way. That said, I guess we kinda do like boobs (plus I am going to tag those hussies up). Yawn, it's up to you.

7/10 or something.

If you want more *really* good information head over to www.jeffreycombs.blogspot.com as she gets exclusives and everything else. She's great. She's a geek with a cause. I'm just lonely.

And if you want...THE PLOT: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765487/

Stevie Richards released from the WWE

2008-08-17T08:49:00.000-07:00

Fans of this pseudo-sport will doubtlessly know that ring-veteran Stevie Richards has been released/fired from the WWE.

I don't know about anyone else, but Stevie is one of the five guys on the entire WWE roster that I care about, and I'm VERY disappointed to hear that the company have fired him. After nine years of neglecting to push him, and getting him injured by every useless debuting superstar, they finally dump him with a chronic neck injury.

If you want to see Stevie Richards re-hired, and brought back to WWE TV then you can contact them at the below addresses.

Contact WWE here:

https://secure.wwe.com/forms/help/show.php

Or write here if you live in the US:

WWE Corporate Headquarters
Attention: (please include Deparment)
1241 East Main Street
Stamford, CT 06902

203-352-8600

Stevie was a two time ECW tag-team champion, a twenty two time WWE hardcore champion and a top contender for the ECW championship before he was injured and forced to take on a lighter federation for a time (WCW).

Stevie has made every superstar he's worked with look great, from Chyna and Bull Buchanan to Ric Flair and Chris Jericho, he's always given it his all. I hope one day we can see STEVIE RICHARDS VS TOMMY DREAMER for the ECW title!

You might also want to try contacting TNA wrestling about hiring him.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT!
SAVE STEVIE RICHARDS!

STEVI-ECW!
STEVI-ECW!
STEVI-ECW!
BWO!
BWO!
BWO!

P.S check out IMDB.com for his upcoming filmworks.

This Month's Exciting Film

2008-08-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'm on time this month.

This month's excitingly awesome looking film is WIZARD OF GORE!

This remake of the Herschell Gordon Lewis "classic" is directed by Jeremy Kasten, director of the impressively surreal horror film The Attic Expeditions and stars Kip Pardue (The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things), Bijou Phillips (Hostel: Part 2, Venom), Crispin Glover (Friday The 13th: Final Chapter, Wild at Heart) and horror legend Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator trilogy, House on Haunted Hill 1&2, The Frighteners and MANY more). The UK will be getting this DVD on August 25th.

IMDB's "anonymous" synopsis:

"Montag the Magnificent (Glover) is a master illusionist who performs at underground venues, selecting female volunteers from his rave-like audiences. To their hysteria, it appears he's dismembered their bodies, but his sleigh of hand has fooled them. However, female bodies show up dead from the same wounds performed on stage. Investigators are baffled, and the chase to find the killer begins."

Creepy eh? Frankly I'll watch anything with Jeffrey Combs in, but this does sound like good fun in its own right. Jeffrey Combs' fanspot The Combs Corner offers some nice exclusive info from the director about the DVD's features and so on, but I won't reproduce so it, so you'll have to look at their page (they're the hard working ones afterall).

If you're interested, you can pre-order the film at:

Why the "Death" of HD is arguably the best thing ever...

2008-08-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Because technology lovers jump ship quicker than a pack of rats. Fact.

No one wants HD DVD's now. Apparently Blu-Ray won? No, actually I won. I have an Xbox 360, which means that I can get an HD/High Definition player for £20 in the shape of the Xbox 360 HD Drive.

Due to no one wanting these technological corpses in their homes you can now buy "The Definition of Perfect" at bargain bin prices. Often these hi-def discs are cheaper than their DVD predecessors. At worst, you can still get 2-5 of these films for the price of one Blu-Ray (you might need to shop around. Combined; amazon, hmv and play all offer some good deals).

It's true that they wont be producing any more films on HD, but there's an absolute wealth of HD films out there at the moment including many sci fi, action, horror and comedy classics. Plus when the well begins to dry up you can use your HD Hard Drive to play your old DVDs at near HD quality.

If anyone is interested, I've compiled a list of notable titles available in HD below:

Amazon.co.uk Widgets

Enjoy.

P.S If I'm honest though, I am still quite happy with VHS...

Last Month's (July's) Exciting Film

2008-08-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

I'm intending to do this every month...but I was late last month.

So, July's exciting film is none another than: BRUTAL MASSACRE: A COMEDY!

Starring cult-favourites like Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead, Devil's Rejects, Halloween 2007), Gunner Hansen (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), David Naughton (American Werewolf in London), Brian O'Halloran (Clerks, Clerks 2) and The Ladies of THE EVIL DEAD (I.E Ellen Sandweiss, Theresa Tilly, Betsy Baker) - this is a significant horror happening, without it actually being a horror film.

The official synopsis is:
Harry Penderecki, a once heralded horror auteur, finds himself on the outside looking in at Hollywood. He hasn't had a hit film in years, and most in the industry, including his close friends, think he's washed up. Harry is given one last chance to redeem himself with what could be his best or last picture. Brutal Massacre becomes just that, as the cast and crew find themselves battling one mishap after another as Harry struggles to keep his sanity against overwhelming resistance to finish the picture and find himself at the top once again."

So basically it's a mockumentary about the joys of independent horror filmmaking, featuring a host of horror/cult film stars and starlets, with an Anchor Bay seal of approval. I don't know about you, but I'm sold! Expect a review in the immediate future.

Check prices for the R1 edition at the advert below:

Review #1 roxXOR2

2008-08-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I was very kindly given a big bag of goodies from online superlabel
roxXOR2 for review. Having published my praise for these musical masochists all over the internet already, I've decided to just do a concise little list of each of their releases.

This works well because no one will be reading these reviews anyway, and roxXOR2 still get a decent qoute to use on their web-shop. So everyone is happy, except me. I frankly feel quite neglected. But anyway, here goes:

The Label:

roxXOR2 are a notable independent record label who deal with some of UK music's biggest criminal masterminds. Having already racked up a pretty impressive catalogue of CDs, DVDs and download exclusives - the label is having yet another overhaul. They've joined forces with one of Britain's better PR companies (Manilla PR), signed up a new batch of musical innovators (The Axl Rose Jazz-Funk Experience, Karl & The Gimps, Mr Introspective), re-issued a few "Roxxor" classics (Teeth) and are now beginning to work their way into the world of independent filmmaking. Cool, huh?

Add these accomplishments to the fact that they're so independent they make sub-pop look like Cyberdyne and you've got a really commendable bunch of people, who's admirable DIY attitude may just help to bring contemporary music out of its current slump. Right on.

The Roster:

Mr Introspective - "Beyond Our Comprehension"

Mr Introspective's roxXOR2 debut is a whirlwind of far-out scoundscapes, gentle grooves,
and melancholic magic - laid out beautifully on a post-apocalyptic backdrop of defiant despair. This is one of the best electronica albums in years.

Teeth - "Career Suicide: Everything Song"

Though not the best example of Teeth's music (one of the best alt. rock acts you've never heard); it certainly highlights their fine sense of humour, their will to rock, and their supreme creativity. Long live "Funge"!

Kieronononononon^ - "brutaltechnopunk"

Five blissfully off-the-wall "hits" make for the best Kieronononon record yet. The trio have found something of a Holy Grail in that they're experi-mental and still fun to listen to (take that My Bloody Valentine!). For all the jokes and quirks, this is still a must have album.

Kieronononononon^ - "DVDVDVDVDVDVDVDVD"

All the E.Ps, tons of live stuff, tons of rare stuff, tons of extras and audio-commentaries: this is a pretty exhaustive (as opposed to exhausting) look at Hull's favourite sons. Mad and made on a shoe-string budget, this is a fine example of underground rock music's wonderful imagination.

You can find out all you need to know about roxXOR2 and it's artists at: roxxor2.co.uk

Opinions are like arseholes...

2008-08-01T06:56:00.000-07:00

I only care about mine.

I like many others have decided to blog. Here I can indulge, speculate, lie, and promote the things I like. This is what the internet has been waiting for!

So here it is, ALL NEW. ALL BLOG. ALL TIME.

HELLO NEW YORK!